A Conversation on Domestic Violence in the Toowoomba Region

A Conversation on Domestic Violence in the Toowoomba Region | Part 2

Transcript

Jag: G’day guys, we’re here today to talk about a very serious issue of domestic violence and uh we’re trying to raise awareness for it. We’ve got here Councillor Bec Vonhoff um and Kath Turley from DVAC and they have given up some time to talk to us today about it. So firstly, if I could talk to you Bec uh in the Toowoomba Region at a Council level can I ask what has been going through the Councils minds as to um, domestic violence, what’s been going on with the issues, and what we as a community can do about it.

Bec: So, I think for us Councillors because we are sort of up to our elbows in the community we do know what’s going on in the community and you know we have relationships with people in the community who talk to us about what’s going on as well. So, domestic violence is a problem everywhere where we find domestic violence and we find domestic violence in Toowoomba so it’s a problem here in Toowoomba and I think its important to understand that it affects the whole population, it doesn’t affect a particular group. It affects people regardless of age, wealth, educational levels and while it mostly affects woman and children um there are men who are also affected so there’s that education piece I think is really important. You know domestic violence is about the choice of individuals when they choose behaviours of power and control and I think it’s a role for us as councillors that we try to get that information out into the public. The housing crisis is a problem as well, not just for Toowoomba but all regional centres at the moment but that is again something that we’re really cognisant of.

Jag: Are the stress factors that than lead and, and result in domestic violence

Bec: Yep

Jag: from

Bec: Cause its, its, where do they go.

Jag: Mmm

Bec: You know, if you’re in a crisis situation where, and you need to get out, do you have somewhere that you can go to

Jag: Yes, yep

Bec: Where its safe

Jag: Is there a cross sectional government approach. Does the Council feel like they are supported, um

Bec: Yeah well I think that we try to work really closely with all the levels of government cause that’s how it has to work

Jag: Naturally, yep

Bec: and and so we have particular leavers as a local government that we can pull and then we work really closely with the state government as well um so a lot of this is their territory as well

Jag: Yep

Bec: you know I think the days of oh we just, its not really our turf, I don’t think that that’s the situation any more we understand that we all have a role to play, where you know we care about the community so therefore we care about this issue.

Jag: What advice would you have to the community at large about how they can assist with this crisis.

Bec: I think that education piece is really important

Jag: Yep yeah

Bec: and I think that believing people when they come forward and society is changing really fast so I do think that there has been a seismic shift even in the last year or two on that front and I would like to think actually that for all of the horrors of covid its actually made us a little bit more understanding and compassionate and aware and you know we had community before and for a time that was taken away and I think that was the first time in a really long time that people actually realised community matters and how you know my little role in that community where I’m aware of the kids who live in my little neighbourhood and the kids who play with my kids and the other mums I see and the you know all of those little interactions they actually are really important and and to sort of just keep and ear out I suppose and don’t be silent if its safe to do so don’t be silent.

Jag: Yep

Bec: I think that that’s the days of that are long gone as well cause its just not acceptable.

Jag: Yeah yeah and by not being silent we continue to educate and hopefully that will um result in change and Kath you’re probably the point of the sphere so to speak when it comes to domestic violence in Toowoomba what do you think that the community um can do to help

Kath: Well sometimes what I think people think is I’m not the professional I’m a social worker so I cant actually do anything here but we all do have a role to play so being able to just be available and believe somebody’s story to just sit and listen and you don’t necessarily need to do anything else other than just be there to maybe ask a question about what do you need from me, what do you think I can do to support you I think they’re really organic natural things that um provide opportunities, particularly for individuals that are experiencing domestic violence to actually go this is maybe a space where for the first time I’m able to um say to the person or say to an individual this is a what’s actually happening in my family or this is what’s happening in my life. To be non-judgemental in that in that space as well so we often some of the myths that we we hear often is that we’re normal cause or women um are the yeah women are the causes of um domestic violence because for example they haven’t done something and and they’re told this by so the perpetrator that

Jag: which is a form of domestic violence itself

Kath: Absolutely that you know if you had, had the house clean then I wouldn’t of had to get angry I wouldn’t of had to you know yell at the kids I wouldn’t of had to do particular things its also I think about the the myth busting around that we need to keep this silent that this stuff is behind closed doors and that’s the way that violence and abuse continues because one of the tactics that perpetrators use is to isolate their partner and a really effective way to have that power and control over someone is to remove them from their support so being able to just sit and listen um to not jump in and expect that the person is going to do what you would want them to do so again we often hear story’s where um family members and friends who are really caring will ring and say but they just wont leave they just wont do this so their obviously wanting to stay in in the relationship they’re they’re you know they’re actually enjoying this abuse and that’s not the case at all.

Jag: What what advice would you have for those family members ah cause you know the point of today is to try and talk about awareness and and about what people can do if they see domestic violence and probably the only people who are going to see it likely are going to be close relations what advice would you have for them

Kath: I think its about listening to what the person wants and being in the space that they are in so it can re it can seem like the easiest thing to do is if you leave that stops we know from research we know from statistics that leaving and 6 months after leaving is actually one of the high risk times because when we are talking about DV one of the drivers of DV is that power and control and when an individual leaves than the perpetrator no longer has control and so they need to control their need to have that person back in their life just escalates and escalates and so often the situations and what we’ve seen in the past couple of years particularly in Brisbane and the Gold Coast is these are the times when women have been killed because they’ve left and the perpetrator no longer has that power so leaving doesn’t actually stop so its its believing the story and saying to the person what do you think you need to do often individuals that have been in domestic violence are doing a lot of really amazing things to keep themselves safe and so its about supporting them in their choices around what they believe they need to be doing.

Jag: Alright I just want to say thank you to Councillor Bec Vonhoff and Kath Turley from DVAC for I’m grateful for their information today

Bec: Pleasure

Jag: um so thankyou

Kath: Thankyou

Jag: and if anybody needs any more information about domestic violence if you could look at the caption there are some links and please have a look at those ok